What do I wish I had known about life after graduation? That it doesn’t start or end, it just continues. There was no “real world” to enter outside of college; I was already in it. Nothing changes but the hours you keep and taxes.
What are 3 key ingredients to a successful and fulfilling life? 1) Passion (see below). 2) Leisure/Rest in labor. Understanding that time spent taking care of the personal needs (ie, for rest and relaxation) is time well spent. When a car engine begins to run hot, you don’t put in more coolant and hope for the best; you actually take time to let it cool down. In other words,
PUT DOWN THE RED BULL AND GO TO SLEEP! Know when to take reality check breaks to curb stress during daily activities. Twenty years from now, that essay won’t matter, but that ulcer might… 3) Presence. In the moment. Not living in the past or the future. Not disregarding the lessons of the past, or laughing off the importance of things ahead, but being present in the now. Enjoying and experiencing life, letting down your guard and being okay with the way things are. Chances are, you can’t change them anyway. Oh, and that includes being present to your wishes, thoughts, and desires, and being able to distinguish them from the sometimes overbearing expectations of the other/society. That should sound a little Zen; no doubt from taking Zen Spirituality as my second religion requirement…
What would you have taken more advantage of while in college?
Visual and performing arts classes. I took a few, but would totally take more if I had the chance. Art is one thing that separates us from the rest of creation: nature and contain art by accident, but we can create and embody art.
What is passion, and how do I find mine?
Hmm, hard to put into words, but here goes: passion for me is that thing that I could fail a hundred times at but still not lose motivation to try because I want to master it. It’s that thing that makes me collapse in bed with the smile of fatigue, and rise early with a smile of anticipation. It’s what gives me butterflies and goose bumps, every time. It’s what feels right. It’s what other people think I great at, which I think I could be better at. It’s what gives me a sense of accomplishment and worth. It’s the thing that I could do for free and not mind (but which I’m proud to be paid for!); what sometimes prompts me to go in on the weekends. It’s that one thing that can turn a day full of bad things good. It’s what I’d volunteer to do after I’ve retired. How does one find it? Unfortunately, this is probably one of those things that tugs at your heart, which your brain will not be able to make sense of. If you’d asked me when I entered college if I thought I’d love working with 6th graders, my response would have been a resounding “Hellz no!” But, follow your heart long enough, and your brain will get the hint. Oddly enough, the thing(s) that I’m most passionate for doesn’t necessarily come easiest to me; it usually something that I have to work at, but which makes the time fly by.
How do I discern my vocational gifts?
Again, in my experience, this is not something that was ever concretely clear to me until I had hands-on experience. Surveys can give you a hint, but you just gotta jump in. My Meyers-Briggs personality tests tell me that I should be nowhere near small children. (Okay…not that extreme, but I hope you get my point.) I tried my hand at teaching; I liked it. For me, this is good right now. I hope that when I am no longer passionate for teaching, I will have the wisdom and courage to pursue the thing that will make me happy then. For me, this is where faith has to come in, knowing that if I do what I’m supposed to do, everything thing else will fall into to place. Initially, that uncertainty was very unnerving, but the more I’ve become in-tune with the moment, the less I worry about the unknown. No be in stuck in the past or fretting over the future, but taking the present for what it is, a gift. Practically speaking, though, I make an effort to understand my retirement plan and invest in tax-sheltered annuities so that I can give my kids the truck and buy that Dodge Viper when I’m 55.
Is there any thing you regret?
Not taking a vacation after graduation. You will not fall into an inescapable hole if you don’t have a job right when you graduate. If you need to, take your time; the world ain’t goin’ nowhere! But, as W.H. Auden says, look if you must, but you will have to leap. Just take your risks at your own pace. Be okay with failure. Regret things you’ve done, don’t regret things you haven’t done.
Any final words of advice?
If you find the key to finding meaning in life (or even just finding a dream job), email me! Otherwise, love every aspect of your journey, and don’t beat yourself if you don’t “get it right” on the first try—there will be plenty of people willing to do that for you on the way. Find what makes you happy, and your gift will make room for you. Be present in every moment, to get what's there for you and to give what you have to it--when you're cooking the rice, cook the rice! And, in the great words of my first supervising principal and mentor, “Life is short: eat dessert first.”
Mr. Jay Mr. Jay
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